We often think of leadership as bold action, but it’s just as much about quiet sensing, tuning into unspoken dynamics, the mood, the tension in the room, and responding to what’s actually happening. Caught between the economic and legal consequences of a moment, it’s easy to lose touch with reality and instead follow a script that feels safe and expedient, rather than truly reading the room.

Consider this

In 2017, United Airlines needed four seats for its crew on a full flight. When volunteers didn’t come forward, they picked passengers at random. One, Dr. David Dao, refused because he had patients waiting the next morning. Security dragged him off the plane, bloodied and concussed, while horrified passengers filmed the scene.

United’s CEO’s first response was a bland apology for having to “re-accommodate” customers. That phrase was so far from the violence caught on video that it snowballed into an even bigger reputational disaster. United spoke about it like a minor scheduling hiccup, and “re-accommodate” became the meme of the moment as the internet reacted with shock and outrage.

Putting it into Play

Cracking a joke at the wrong time. Glossing over visible tension in the team. Offering platitudes while people are hurting or anxious.

Reading the room is a core power skill. It requires being truly present to what’s happening—the background mood, the tensions, the needs of the moment. The power of leadership isn’t just in what you say, but in your attunement: naming what’s present, matching the moment, and showing that you truly see the people in front of you.