Red Flags and Green Lights

Early in my career I was giving a guest lecture to a group of psychology graduate students. I shared a slide of a some interviewing techniques and had the group practice them in a role play.

Later, on the lunch break, a few of the more advanced students came up to me, and said, “That was interesting, Julie. What led you to change the order of the steps?”

Puzzled, I asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” she continued, “the technique usually goes in this order and you switched two of the steps.” She showed me in her notes. “We’re curious to know why you updated it that way?”

I looked at her notes and realized I had made a mistake, erroneously switching the order of steps on the slides.

I looked at the faces of the group around me, and realized, with a surprise, that they thought it was deliberate. Not only that, they made sense out of it, even though, to my mind, it was nonsensical.

“It was a mistake,” I said.

Silence.

“Didn’t any one of you think it was a mistake?” I asked.

More silence.

Then one of them hesitantly spoke and said, “Well, I wondered if it was a mistake, but then thought it might be worthwhile trying out a new way of doing it.”

This rattled me. Is this what Milgram proved with his famous experiment, blind deference to authority? Was it the same dynamic that, at a larger scale, leads people to follow tyrants, be duped by quack remedies, and fail to speak up even when they know something is wrong?

Or, did they truly trust my expertise and decide, based on that, to consider this something new to try?

When do you defer to authority and when do you challenge it?

There is no lack of data to make us skeptical of people in power. Numerous examples of untrustworthy, self-serving, and manipulative uses of power. Confirmed by our personal experience. I’ve had wonderful teachers and cruel, terrible ones. I’ve had good bosses and bad ones.

Mostly it’s the luck of the draw whether we get a good boss or a bad one, a good teacher or a sadistic one. If we do have the opportunity to choose, or influence the choice, what are some indications that this person’s authority is worth following?

Are there red flags and green lights?

There are so many things to consider, but I think of these three as fundamental.

Approachable

During the break, those students came up to me. They felt I was approachable and interested in what they had to say. They felt safe to question my thinking.

If there is an open door, a curiosity to learn, an interest in feedback, and no penalty for asking questions, even challenging ones, that is a green light.

A red flag is someone who doesn’t like to be questioned, who gets upset by a challenge. It could be out of defensiveness or simply out of annoyance, seeing the question as a distraction or delay. It doesn’t matter. When it’s not safe to ask questions, give feedback, or seek help, it’s a red flag.

Being approachable is more than just niceness; it’s a desire to learn, and to make sure you’re not missing anything. It reflects humility—knowing you don’t have all the answers, and, because of your power, you’re not getting the information you need. Projects may be going off the rails, and people are hesitant to tell you. Well-founded doubts about decisions and strategy aren’t being shared with you. Complaints about managers don’t reach your desk. And this should motivate you to do everything in your power to make sure that you are approachable, that people can speak truth to power.

Competent

Does the person in power have the right to sit in their seat? Have they earned their stripes? Are they truly an expert? Are they genuinely able to lead? Have they satisfied the requirements and jumped through the hoops that everyone else has?

It’s a green light when the person in power seems truly competent. They have earned the right to be there. That doesn’t mean they don’t make mistakes, or have stopped learning. None of us come into positions of power fully baked. Everyone has a Day 1, as a parent, teacher, boss, doctor. We’re human and learning. But, when someone sits in that seat, and bluffs, hides what they don’t know, and lacks the humility to address their competency gaps to fulfill the responsibilities of their role, that’s a red flag.

Transparent

While we commonly think of power misuse as the classic domineering, bullying, micromanaging boss, a big red flag is power that is minimized, denied, or hidden. For some, power may feel unnatural, or awkward. Trying to minimize power, acting like friends or peers because standing in authority is difficult, is a major red flag.

Hidden power is a dangerous thing. It sows confusion and chaos; people don’t know what’s expected of them, what to focus on, and how to succeed. Abdicating power leaves a power vacuum, which will be filled by the most dominant person, not the most competent.

Power needs to be transparent, visible, and embodied. Leaders who accept responsibility, are explicit with their expectations, and set and adhere to boundaries, are leaders who are fulfilling their organizational responsibilities. It’s a clear green light, because they are not letting their discomfort, their need for friendship and belonging, or their desire to be seen as an individual trump their duty. ​
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What do you think? What green lights and red flags do you see, which tell you if it’s safe or not to follow someone’s authority?