It was that thin, wispy cloud that told me we were in trouble.

Indeed we were.

We had been lounging by the lake, not far from where we had camped, at 9,000 feet.

Then a sudden torrential downpour hit, washing out the trail, and we were forced to make a mad dash for shelter down a steep, slick, and muddy hill as thunder and lightning crashed around us.

There are things in this world that will always have power over us. Nature is one of them. So are death, illness, and the heart of someone you love.

I live in an area where there are wildfires. You may live where earthquakes, hurricanes, flooding, or tornadoes are common occurrences. You know you should be prepared and take whatever precautions you can—but in the end, you can only hope for the best.

Likewise, you are powerless over the person you love. They may decide to leave. Or they may wake up one day and want a different life.

Your health is also outside your control. Yes, you can influence your health through diet, exercise, and a healthy lifestyle. But illness is not subject to our will.

You will age, and your body will break down.

The economy doesn’t bend to our wishes. One day business is flourishing, the next day, your company institutes layoffs, and you’re suddenly without work.

Life is unfair. You have a boss who dislikes you, a teacher who plays favorites, your government institutes unjust and discriminatory laws.

So, yes, nature is all-powerful, the world situation is beyond our control, life is unfair, health is unpredictable, and death is assured.

So what power do we actually have?

The one thing we can do is to reach within and use our personal power to find our way through.

As Viktor Frankl says, when we cannot change a situation, we are challenged to work with ourselves, to get along with whatever life throws at us. Using personal power doesn’t just mean going along with what happens; it means finding the right mindset, soothing your emotions, finding courage to face the impossible, and discovering who you are at the edge of the unknown.

It’s our personal power— not our position or social status—that we reach for when a loved one dies, when we have to have difficult conversations, when we are diagnosed with an illness, when we stand in front of a skeptical or hostile crowd, when we lose our job, or when we find ourselves alone.

When life feels unfair; when things don’t go our way, when no matter how hard we try, things just aren’t working out, these prompts help me get in touch with my personal power and may help you too:

  • Can I embrace this challenge? Can I open up to what is being called forth in me?
  • How is this challenge changing me? What is it forcing me to do, to become, to think? How has that change been trying to happen, even before this event?
  • What am I learning through this difficulty? Where else in my life does that learning need to be applied?

We are forever going to have to contend with things we have no power over. And while emotions are important, they can also be misleading. Feeling powerless can sap us of the strength we need to get through these challenges.

When that storm started, when the lightning crashed, my feelings told me to hide under a tree. Which would have been disastrous.

The power of emotions is such that it’s easy to believe that what we feel is real. So under threat, or when life feels unfair, we tend to hide, fight back, give up, or run.

Instead, we should use our personal power to process and learn, which can help us succeed, not necessarily along worldly measures, but along human ones.